Mordhau
 CACommanderGuts
  • Likes received 454
  • Date joined 27 Oct '15
  • Last seen 22 Feb
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945 454
  • 23 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@DerFurst said:
The weather beaten trail wound ahead into the dust racked climes of the baren land which dominates large portions of the Norgolian empire. Age worn hoof prints smothered by the sifting sands of time shone dully against the dust splattered crust of earth. The tireless sun cast its parching rays of incandescense from overhead, half way through its daily revolution. Small rodents scampered about, occupying themselves in the daily accomplishments of their dismal lives. Dust sprayed over three heaving mounts in blinding clouds, while they bore the burdonsome cargoes of their struggling overseers.

"Prepare to embrace your creators in the stygian haunts of hell, barbarian", gasped the first soldier.

"Only after you have kissed the fleeting stead of death, wretch!" returned Grignr.

A sweeping blade of flashing steel riveted from the massive barbarians hide enameled shield as his rippling right arm thrust forth, sending a steel shod blade to the hilt into the soldiers vital organs. The disemboweled mercenary crumpled from his saddle and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched dust with crimson droplets of escaping life fluid.

The enthused barbarian swilveled about, his shock of fiery red hair tossing robustly in the humid air currents as he faced the attack of the defeated soldier's fellow in arms.

"Damn you, barbarian" Shrieked the soldier as he observed his comrade in death.

A gleaming scimitar smote a heavy blow against the renegade's spiked helmet, bringing a heavy cloud over the Ecordian's misting brain. Shaking off the effects of the pounding blow to his head, Grignr brought down his scarlet streaked edge against the soldier's crudely forged hauberk, clanging harmlessly to the left side of his opponent. The soldier's stead whinnied as he directed the horse back from the driving blade of the barbarian. Grignr leashed his mount forward as the hoarsely piercing battle cry of his wilderness bred race resounded from his grinding lungs. A twirling blade bounced harmlessly from the mighty thief's buckler as his rolling right arm cleft upward, sending a foot of blinding steel ripping through the Simarian's exposed gullet. A gasping gurgle from the soldier's writhing mouth as he tumbled to the golden sand at his feet, and wormed agonizingly in his death bed.

Grignr's emerald green orbs glared lustfully at the wallowing soldier struggling before his chestnut swirled mount. His scowling voice reverberated over the dying form in a tone of mocking mirth. "You city bred dogs should learn not to antagonize your better." Reining his weary mount ahead, grignr resumed his journey to the Noregolian city of Gorzam, hoping to discover wine, women, and adventure to boil the wild blood coarsing through his savage veins.

The trek to Gorzom was forced upon Grignr when the soldiers of Crin were leashed upon him by a faithless concubine he had wooed. His scandalous activities throughout the Simarian city had unleashed throngs of havoc and uproar among it's refined patricians, leading them to tack a heavy reward over his head.

He had barely managed to escape through the back entrance of the inn he had been guzzling in, as a squad of soldiers tounced upon him. After spilling a spout of blood from the leader of the mercenaries as he dismembered one of the officer's arms, he retreated to his mount to make his way towards Gorzom, rumoured to contain hoards of plunder, and many young wenches for any man who has the backbone to wrest them away.

Der, make your own fan fiction page.

945 454
  • 23 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@Ranten said:
When a dude accused me of using wall-hacks (yes, fucking wallhacks) because I've heard his footsteps. He did a combo of 5 votes and the 6th one kicked me from the server.

Fortunately, I've returned to the server after 30 mins and votekicked him. The whole server hated him but there always were 2-3 retards who voted "nay" without any reason.

Becuz he is knew!!

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  • 23 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@ToLazy4Name said:

@DerFurst said:
At least we're not at Star Citizen levels of waiting

yet

But that funding... imagine Mordhau MMO?

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  • 23 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@ApatheticDeity said:
still supporting, still not reading tho

Gimme like?

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  • 22 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@Sammy said:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12224119/1/JEFF-THE-KILLER-VS-ME

How can I possibly follow that! Too OP for me. I guess I'll quit my writing career. :(

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  • 1
  • 22 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

Part 1
http://mordhau.com/forum/topic/1429/fan-fiction/#c13
(The request was real)

The Guard continued on with the large group of townsfolk. Captain Theodric looked back to the keep. Flags of the attackers were flown across the walls as roaring of the victors could be heard. The city was lost, but the last of the people were almost out.

A Sergeant at arms approached the main group with the rear guard. "Cavalry is giving chase to us!" He yelled to Theodric. Theodric knew this would cause panic he did not need having the people hearing the Sergeants at arms. He began to look around as he stopped in his tracks. Searching for what he could use at his disposal, he noticed a good amount of abandoned carts and wagons.

"Sire," the Sergeants approached weary of the siege. "Shall I close the gate behind us and break the mechanism?"
"No," Theodoric said as his eyes widened with thought. "That would merely delay them and possibly make them go around."

Theodoric ordered his men to a halt while the people kept moving towards the forest outside the gate. He ordered 9 of his best men to go with the sergeant as escort to the people. The men began to pull the carts out of the street and outside the city wall passed the mout. Theodric knew the choke point would be key in a defense. A wall of archers formed behind the barricade of carts while spearmen formed at the flanks. 10 pikeman hid behind both sides of the gate out of sight.
"When you see me hold my sword up block the the gate and cut off the second half of the cavalry while we finish the head of the force. With only a regiment of men, Theodric knew the odds were against them, but at least young Riley would escape at this sacrifice.

(At work will write more when I get home.)

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  • 22 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

Star Wars Jedi Academi remake when?

945 454
  • 22 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@TheDankestMeme said:
tbh i'm always the most cancerous player
edit: also Hell-ish is a shitty name

I didn't pick it. And I'm in LK now.

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  • 1
  • 22 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

Why was there 2 crushed's?

Oh man that ear rape ending.

945 454
  • 22 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@TheEmeraldArcher said:
I'm very surprised you didn't just put up a clip with me on the enemy team guts

Why to show you being raped?

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  • 21 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

But now for a real toxic week.

We had memelord troll the clan after Rekwan destroyed these guys they pretended to be in our clan and recruited people into the clan and then started being toxic and saying we represent hellish. Back when I was General of Hellish.

That's my angry voice. Lol

And then the idiot left his info on his profile. So I looked him up on Facebook and saw he was in a Christian group and decided to use it to scare him away. I ended up telling him if he kept this up I'd contact his mother and show her how he has been behaving. Needless to say, he stopped.

945 454
  • 21 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

One day in a tourney, I get the chance to pick a map. I picked no mercy. My favorite map. My team became toxic I ran to my safe space. :(

945 454
  • 21 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

So how tall are the devs? Napoleons height?

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  • 20 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

1 devblog a season at least it's more reliable than berserk chapters coming out.

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  • 20 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

2 fakes

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  • 19 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@ToLazy4Name said:

@CACommanderGuts said:
but how many in inches?

I'm 70 inches tall, because MERICA!

nigger you're American, why can't you convert it yourself

5 feet = 60 inches, 5'10 = 60 inches + 10 inches = 70 inches

You 'n' I are the same height.

I know. I know what 5'10" is. Its that new AMD graphics card right? bout average specs?

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  • 19 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

Music should be blaring and motivating you into GLORIOUS combat!

945 454
  • 19 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

@ToLazy4Name said:
jesus fuck of course you're a god damn manlet nu male Sammy

5'10 here, perfect American average

Edit: 178 cm for the commies here

but how many in inches?

I'm 70 inches tall, because MERICA!

945 454
  • 18 Nov '16
 CACommanderGuts

My life.