Mordhau

Mordhau conspiracy theory thread

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  • 20 Aug '19
 SWSeriousMike

Inspired by the Torn Banner hired infiltrators meme conspiracy I thought it might be entertaining to have a thread dedicated to insane and hopefully at least occasionally funny conspiracy theories.
Try to steer clear of too political conspiracy theories and personal attacks to adhere to the rules of the forum.

To break the ice, I have come up with the following examples:

  • Jax has killed the other staff members to have all the millions to himself. Why is it that only Jax is present at the forums? It's because the others are already dead. And of course he can't take too much time. He's busy moving the bodies around and dodging investigations. Wake up, sheeple!

  • Lazy is blackmailing the staff. His goal is to summon chaos and rebellion so that he can appear as a savior in his election campaign for administrator rights. Whenever a staff member gets the idea to defy him, Lazy subtly posts his weapons collection to get them back in line. He probably thinks his schemes are too cliche to be taken seriously and unveiled. Let's show him he is wrong!

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Game Theory: First person slashers are actually bad and all the skilled mechanics were mistakes/exploits that was inbred thru generations of bad indie video game design. just kidding. ha ha

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  • 20 Aug '19
 DerFurst

Torn Banner Studios murdered Jeffrey Epstein

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  • 20 Aug '19
 SWSeriousMike

To what end? Why now? And what does that mean for Mordhau? How did you figure it out?

You can do better. Just need to put a little more effort into it.

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Game Theory: ppl who main first person slashers are incapable of playing any other competently made competitive video games because they don't rely on purposefully unintuitive design as a "skill ceiling", and ppl who are actually pro at other competitive video game genres will never be seen playing this game because it requires u to spend like 10k+ hours to read every dumb animation manipulation at a glance. just kidding. ha ha

1845 1930
  • 20 Aug '19
 SWSeriousMike

Yo, Cocyx. Kindly take you game theories to another thread. This one is about conspiracies and you are making it impure. :(

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conspiracy theory: game theories are conspiracy theories for incels

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conspiracy game theory: the reason why this community is so fucked in the head is because u need to have some sort of brain damage to think it's a good idea to spend 10k hours on a game genre with zero pro scene. just kidding ha ha. IM KIDDING!!!!!!!

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  • 20 Aug '19
 SWSeriousMike

Pretty please with sugar on top?

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conspiracy theory: mike is too aroused by my skelesona and can't think straight when im around and that's why he wants me to stop posting here

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  • 20 Aug '19
 Maci

Ok so basically Jax is a shapeshifting reptile working for the israeli government

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  • 21 Aug '19
 Fred Dawes

The incessant complaining and degradation in the Mordhau community is corporate propaganda to steal players into Chivalry 2 and Bannerlord. Definitely not because the internet is full of toxic manchildren.

Knight 7768 14315
  • 22 Aug '19
 ToLazy4Name

remember ruby ridge

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  • 1
  • 22 Aug '19
 SWSeriousMike

Ruby Ridge got nothing to do with Mordhau. Or is it just what they want you to believe?

On the other hand some duel servers employed very cold-blooded and ruthless policemen. They were usually quite competent in the art of war. Highly suspicious.

Knight 7768 14315
  • 22 Aug '19
 ToLazy4Name

Remember waco

Knight 337 777
  • 22 Aug '19
 AngelEyes

Botas was undercover Crush before he banned himself to not blow his cover ,and thats why shield have not and will not change

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  • 22 Aug '19
 SWSeriousMike

Brilliant!

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  • 22 Aug '19
 KonyHawkProSlaver

@Fred Dawes said:
The incessant complaining and degradation in the Mordhau community is corporate propaganda to steal players into Chivalry 2 and Bannerlord. Definitely not because the internet is full of toxic manchildren.

And definitely not because the developers failed to meet half the potential this game had.

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@Fred Dawes said:
The incessant complaining and degradation in the Mordhau community is corporate propaganda to steal players into Chivalry 2 and Bannerlord. Definitely not because the internet is full of toxic manchildren.

conspiracy theory: people pretend that ppl on the internet are maladjusted and strange as a coping mechanism to reject the idea that we're now connected to most of humanity thru social media and that's just what humans are like